How to handle living with your partners family?
Hello!
So I have recently left uni and have moved into my boyfriend's house with his parents and sister. I have stayed with them before over the summer months and the whole family are so welcoming and very generous to allow me to stay. However, because this time it's on a more permanent basis (I have my own key cut now!) I've started to feel a bit more apprehensive about it all.
It's scary moving into someone else space, there is always someone in the house so my boyfriend and I won't get much privacy and despite how lovely they are I do get moments where I feel like they just wish I wasn't there.
Do you have any tips for moving with your partners family?
Photo by Josh Edgoose on Unsplash
All the best, Leia
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Oh I did this when I about about 20ish. It was fine honestly, I got really close with my exs mom. But beware to not let family members involved in your relationship with your boyfriend. That was the only issue. I never made food there. I always ate at work so I rarely prepared food but when I did i felt bad because the mom thought that I didnt like her cooking, which wasnt the case I just wanted to eat a bit healther sometimes. Eventually i moved out because my ex was cheating on me. His mom sided with him of course ๐
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#0: Have you talked to them about rules and routines? Things they do and donโt want you to do and what they expect from you when you live there. There might not be any, but if you have had a discussion about it you donโt have to worry about stepping on their toes as much. There may be things you can do around the house that they would appreciate. Or they might prefer you to stay out of their already working routines. For instance, when we have people staying with us I prefer to continue to do the washing. If they put their dirty laundry on the washing machine it will magically come back to them clean. ๐ I tell them to let me know when there is something they need urgently so I can make sure to prioritize that. To me, that is better than having another person messing around there.
Best regards, Niklas ๐
#1 I'm lucky, his parent seem really respectful of our privacy. I remember once having a heated argument and I couldn't Help but shout (I felt bad about it afterwards and try to keep arguments to a minimum out of respect) so they could for sure hear, they never intervened though!
#2 That's the thing they're super relaxed! All they have said is clean up after yourself and Help around when you can but I'd rather there be more set expectations so I can ensure they are being met than constantly wondering if I'm doing enough.
All the best, Leia
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