So you are about to start living with someone and want to make it as smooth as possible? I have one advice that has made it a lot easier for me.
You don’t want to bicker over small everyday things. The less of that, the better your relation will be. Probably the most common reason for friction when it comes to living with someone is chores and responsibility.
“Why can’t he clean the kitchen counter when he’s made a mess?”
“Does she have to nag me about things she think I should do all the time?”
Make a list of chores
The easy solution to these annoying things is to make a list and appoint a responsible. Sit down together when you both are free of other obligations. Make a list of everything you agree is important in your household. The list below can be a start.
- Setting and clearing table
- Watering flowers
- Shopping groceries
- Cleaning fridge and freezer
- Cleaning bathroom
- Washing car
- Paying bills
- Feeding pets
- Cleaning pet cages
Decide on intervals and timing
Go through the list and decide how often and when each chore should be taken care of.
Agree on who is responsible for what. There can only be one responsible for each chore. The one responsible doesn’t have to do it but is responsible for it getting done. Everyone is responsible for not leaving clothes on the floor and taking away the things they take out.
Make sure that your responsibilities take about the same effort. None of you should have much more “chore time” than the other.
Chores that only one of you think is important should be taken care of by that person.
You must agree on responsibility before you add new chores to the household, like if one of you want to get a dog. Who’s responsible for feeding, walking, cleaning, paying, and so on?
Save the list.
Go through your list at least once a year and decide on things to add or take away from the list. Make adjustments if one of you have more common chore time than the other.
Instead of fighting over small things you now can concentrate on discussing things that are important.
Do you have any advice for people who are moving in together?